It's almost my 7th month baptismal anniversary. there is still more to come. im not sure what it is yet but i know it will be His will for my life.
My plans for my life have not worked out, that has happened for a reason. His ways are not like mine and He sees far more and translucently than I good ever see.
My life is His. do what it He will. i am over trying to control it or figure it out. its not to be figured out but to be guided like sheep following a very experienced shepherd. a shepherd who created this path and knows what is to arise at the next corner who am i but a sheep trying to steer the shepherd. no longer.no longer.
His grace and love has allowed me to get away with going off the path and Him coming to get me at  attempt of leading myself . He loves us deeply and we could never grasp it never.

I surrender it to Him, i want to. i want to remain with Him, guarded by Him and grasping every glimpse of His presence. seeking it. searching for it.
The overwhelming love i feel from Him when I am worshiping Him and calling the Spirit to come forth within me is so amazingly beautiful.

I might look like a faucet that cant turn off and it might look like these are tears of heartbreak, but these tears are of increasing joy for which would my body cannot contain. they stream down my cheeks like the well that is within me because it is filled up by Him.

i was and am the Samaritan women who did not know what she was missing until she came to the point in life where He was waiting and i finally was free from being blinded. it was the moment where i would see that i was not ful and would never be full by this world because he is the water that quenches my thirst, he is the bread that feeds my hunger, he is the essence of my being, he is my all.

coming to my rescue when i called never turning away from me when i turned away from Him. i never want to be separated again. i never want to be orphaned on purpose again, Abba, Father, Jehovah Jira.